Phone messages

Answer phone message 1:
Hello, just to let you know we are back. The landline doesn't work, the car won't start and Allen has shingles but apart from that we are fine.

Answer phone message 2 (three days later):
Hello, just to let you know we are back, we don't have a landline because BT are bastards but phone me when you get back.

Phoned back (during Eastenders = cardinal sin):
Hello, yes Eastenders is on. It's very exciting (this means 'get off the phone'). We don't have a landline, the car won't start, nothing works, the door is broken, the bell doesn't work and neither does the printer.
You know my operation is on the 20th?

Yes. Is Sheila coming this weekend?

Yes, but it's a bit inconvenient as there's so much to do before my operation.

What needs doing?

Well, there's the garden to do.

Isn't it in two weeks?

Yes but we'll get by. Anyway, see you soon.

click, brrrr




I'm fine by the way.